Everytime
by Lady Nightshade
Summary: The deteration of Seto and Pernia's marriage has gotten worse and this time the out come might lead to dire consequences.


Everytime

Author's Notes: This is a song fic, oneshot between Seto and Pernia. It takes place a year after Blood Bonds and a month after "When I Think About Cheating", which I have yet to put out.

I do not own "Everytime"; that is owned by Britney Spears. Nor do I own Seto; he is owned by Kazuki Takahashi.

I would like to thank Kyia Star, a great big sister, for putting up with my constant crap and for betaing this story. I also want to thank her own beta-reader, Titanwren, for also betaing my story even though we have never meet.  
Beta-reader's comment: grumbles a bit Okay, so I haven't beta-ed anything in about a year. If you wish to complain about my crappy job, you may find my e-mail under my pen name mentioned above. And you guys can also hand a huge thanks to my own beta-reader: TitanWren who was kind enough to find the time to go over this as well. I'm handing out a huge thanks to her and I can't thank her enough! Thanks!

Warning this story contains attempted suicide.

The lights from the street lamps poured into the limousine through the tinted windows, casting a romantic glow on the couple inside. However, the air within the back seat was not romantic; it smelled old and sour, like a love affair gone wrong or one that had simply died. The couple within the backseat sat as far apart as the car would allow. The only sound breaking through the thick air was the man's cold, formal voice speaking into the cell phone. His companion was silently staring out into the darkened and dying streets; her forehead rested against the cold glass. As they rode home, she watched the couples walking beneath the street lamps that acted like spot lights on them; by highlighting the romance of the young lovers they seemed to be mocking her.

Pernia watched the couples miserably, wishing for the relationship she'd had with her husband, Seto. While it hadn't been nearly as open, it had been romantic in its own way. She pushed her brown bangs out of her blue eyes and tucked them behind one ear. She clutched the flowing skirt of her clingy strapless icy blue evening gown, a nervous habit since childhood. She wore matching two inch heels with straps around her ankles. A sapphire encrusted into a solid silver band encircled her wrist, and her sapphire engagement ring and her silver wedding band on her left hand completed her jewelry.

Seto finally brought the call to an end and replaced the cell phone back into the pocket of his tuxedo jacket staring at the dark privacy glass, with his company logo, in front of him ignoring the woman sitting next to her almost as if she were just some common acutance instead of his wife. She took a deep breath steeling her for the conversation that was to come and gingerly placed her hand on one of his crossed arms. But before her first words left her lips his phone rang sharply, cutting through the thickening air like a knife and causing her to flinch as he sharply raised his hand to silence her and once again seemed to tone her out of his night.

It was then that she noticed that he wasn't wearing his wedding band. She slumped back against the door again, defeated. She wasn't sure which hurt worse: the fact that he no longer seemed to care about their marriage, or that he no longer bothered to wear his ring. She bit the inside of her cheek and refused to cry, refused to show any sign of weakness.

Seto hated weakness.

Notice me, take my hand

Why are we strangers when

Our love is strong

Why carry on without me 

Pernia's uncle Pegasus, had at one time commented that the only thing Seto could ever truly be married to was his company. At first, she just brushed it off as the worries of an overprotective uncle looking out for his only living relative. Now, she began to wonder if there was any truth in those words. Her mind began to wander back to the party they had just left. He hadn't minded when the daughters of his business associates had flirted with him; he liked to ignore them in cold indifference while they tried their wiles on him. But if a man tried to flirt with her, Seto would become furious and refuse to let her out of his sight, but even that didn't stop them. Finally, he seemed so upset with them and decided to leave the part early. She wasn't sure if that was a sign that he still loved her or if he simply didn't want a scandal.

Instinctively, she laid her hand on her now flat stomach and blinked back tears. How many parties had she gone to where the other women had talked about the abortions they had, their comments so flippant, like they didn't care? How many celebrations had she attended where the women who had the abortions and now wished they could take it back and were ridiculed by the other women for feeling guilty over having done something legal and fully within their rights. Sometimes, the conversations would make her want to cry. Unlike some of the women in her circle of society, Pernia wanted a child with all her heart.

She wondered if the women knew what it felt like to want a child, to desire to provide an heir for the man you loved and not be able to, to wake up day after day for months and be faced with the heartbreaking knowledge that you weren't pregnant. She hated not being able to give Seto a healthy baby. She had managed to get pregnant a year ago and was overjoyed to know she was finally going to be able to give her husband a child, a boy no less. She and Mokuba had even started making plans for the nursery, but when the time came for her to give birth, the baby had been still born.

She hadn't even been allowed to hold it.

Everytime I try to fly, I fall

Without my wings, I feel so small

I guess I need you, baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face, it's haunting me

I guess I need you, baby 

Once again Seto put his phone away in his jacket pocket. Pernia turned to him and placed her hand on his knee.

"Seto," she said, softly. 

"What is it Pernia," he asked, annoyed.

"Can we talk?" she asked, timidly.

Seto stared at her annoyed and was about to respond when his cell phone went off for the third time. "Kaiba," he growled, annoyed, forgetting that Pernia even existed. 

Sighing, she turned her attention back to the window and tried not to let it get to her. At some point in their marriage, one of them, either her or Seto, had stopped trying to make things work. She wondered if the only thing their marriage was based on was lust. But that couldn't possibly be the case; Seto'd had many females that would have eagerly shared his bed.

Her mind continued to wonder about their relationship before deciding that it didn't need to be analyzed. She loved Seto and that was enough for her to go on. Besides, analyzing wouldn't help things at all. Perhaps she and Seto just needed to have a talk about their marriage. 

But he was always tired when he came home from work, so talking was out of the question --- and it seemed so was patching things up.

I make believe that you are here

It's the only way I see clear

What have I done

You seem to move on easy

Pernia sighed and slowly came to a decision: it seemed that Seto didn't want to try and patch their marriage up; perhaps that meant he no longer cared about it. Therefore, Pernia saw no reason for her to put forth anymore effort to try and make it work. She was getting tired of being shot down every night when she tried to start up a conversation.

The limo finally pulled up to the manor, and Pernia, in a streak of anger that she couldn't seem to place, had already gotten out of the car and was moving up the step to the building before the driver could get out to open the door. Seto cursed and followed behind her, quickly ending the conversation on the phone. 

"Pernia, I want to talk to you," he shouted, following her down the hall to their room and slamming the door shut behind him.

"Aren't you too tired for that?" Pernia snapped, while removing her shoes. 

"Look," he began, his frigid blue eyes icing over even more. "If you are still pissed about what happened the other night..."

"It isn't just the other night!" she spat. "That's the only thing you have said to me for the past few months!" 

Seto winced and walked over to his irate wife, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck slowly, knowing that she would always forgive him if he could get her passions up. "I'm sorry, my pet," he whispered, caressing her ear with his lips. "I just get so busy---" Before he could finish his sentence Pernia had jerked away from him.

"I don't care anymore," she snapped, yanking the dress from her body as she stormed into the bathroom.

The door slammed shut and on an oath, Seto turned and knocked some of Pernia's cosmetics and the vase of lilies from her vanity table. He then stormed over to his side of the bed and threw himself down onto it, willing the sudden headache to subside. 

And everytime I try to fly, I fall

Without my wings, I feel so small

I guess I need you, baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face, you're haunting me

I guess I need you, baby 

Pernia stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Turning away, she started the water, filling the bathtub and then proceeded to remove her undergarments while turning the radio on and filling the room with soothing music. She lay there against the porcelain and ran her hands through her hair and began to think. She couldn't remember how things had gotten so stale. She was beginning to feel that no matter how hard she tried, Seto just didn't seem to want to make things work. 

She closed her eyes and finally allowed her tears to flow freely, knowing that Seto couldn't see or hear her cry. She wondered if this was the same romance her parents had had; from what she had heard from her mother, her father wasn't really one for showing emotions -- even in the bedroom; so it was no surprise that she had found herself in a similar situation with Seto.

She knew that there would be no other man for her except Seto, but if he wasn't willing to make things work then why should she? Pernia closed her eyes and sank deeper into the tub, letting the water come up to her chin. Divorce wasn't an option and neither was moving out. She knew that if she found out about Seto with another woman she wouldn't be able to take it.

So to prevent herself from falling in love with another, and to prevent herself from seeing Seto with another, she sank deeper beneath the water until she was submerged completely.

I may have made it rain

Please forgive me

My weakness caused you pain

And this song's my sorry 

Seto sighed and sat up on the bed, running his hands through his light brown hair; his blue eyes stared blankly at the shattered glass, damp carpeting, and scattered lilies. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he so used to being closed off and focused on his work that he had been completely ignoring his wife? He pursed his lips and stared at the closed bathroom door, coming to a decision. It had been at least four months since she had given birth to a stillborn child. He knew that he hadn't spent nearly enough time with her as he should have.

He did love his wife, deeply in fact, and he couldn't imagine life without her. Standing up, he made his way to the bathroom door and rapped on it once before turning the knob and walking in. 

"Pernia," he said, "I want to talk to you…" Seto's voice trailed off and his eyes widened; he nearly chocked on the sight that greeted him: Pernia was beneath the water and no air bubbles were rising to the surface.

"No," Seto shouted, rushing to the tub and pulling her out of the water. "Pernia!" he cried, brushing her brown hair from her pale face. 

He swept her up into his arms and laid her gently down on the floor, then proceeded to perform CPR while praying to any god that would listen that his wife would be all right. After a while of her not breathing, he snatched the phone from its place next to the sink and plugged in the numbers for the hospital to summon an ambulance, as he continued to try and revive the love of his life.

Finally, he managed to coax some air into her lungs and rolled her over has she coughed up water.

"Are you all right Pernia," he asked, rubbing her back and reaching for a towel to wrap around her while they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

"What's wrong, Kaiba? Worried about the scandal my suicide would have caused?" she asked, her voice her voice dull and lacking emotion.

"No," whispered Seto. "Worried about what my life would be like without you."

At night I pray

That soon your face will fade away 

Pernia rolled over and stared up at him in surprise. 

"I am sorry I haven't been paying as much attention to you as I should have after the death of our son."

"You have a business to run," Pernia said, softly. 

"That doesn't excuse it," Seto said, running his hand along her face. "I would like for us to try and make this work again."

Pernia stared into his eyes and sighed. She could see that he was telling the truth and that he actually did want to try and make this work. The question was did she still want to try and make it work? She reached up and touched Seto's face smiling gently.

"I would really enjoy that," said Pernia, softly as the paramedics arrived and took over. 

"Are you joining us in the ambulance Mr. Kaiba," asked one of the paramedics at the same time his cell phone rang.

Seto pulled out the phone and looked at the caller id: someone from work; he looked at his wife and turned off the phone. "Yes," he said following them out of the room. "I am."

And everytime I try to fly, I fall

Without my wings, I feel so small

I guess I need you, baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face, you're haunting me

I guess I need you, baby


End file.
